it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
