That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
