no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
