I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my being single is dangerous.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
