Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
