I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize