how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
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Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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