the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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