i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
