Grow some girl-balls and come out already
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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