So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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