Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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