You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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