puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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