you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
