I think I am morally bankrupt
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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