Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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