He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
