She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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