if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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