He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Drunk is not a location!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
