Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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