I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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