ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize