Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize