I just pynch a tree in the face
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
