dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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