I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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