I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
