Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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