do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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