I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
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It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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