yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
