i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
