no. you can't hotbox the world.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
