I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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