I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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