does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
