so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
