He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Also, beer. Big fan.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
