what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
