Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
