I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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