i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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