If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
