I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
