Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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