I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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