Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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