The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
