What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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