bring money and cleavage
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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