Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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