Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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