you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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