Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
