You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
