If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
