i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
